


Five Time Jack Kissed Someone and it Didn't Mean Anything and One Time It Did

by ughdotcom



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alcohol, Don't copy to another site, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Sex, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:09:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29441691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ughdotcom/pseuds/ughdotcom
Summary: Jack has his fair share of adventures in kissing. Sometimes it means something. Sometimes it doesn't.
Relationships: (Endgame), (all non-romantic/spur of the moment/hookup), Jack Harkness/Clara Oswin Oswald, Jack Harkness/Martha Jones, Jack Harkness/River Song, Jack Harkness/Rory Williams, Shareen Costello/Jack Harkness, The Doctor/Jack Harkness/Rose Tyler, Thirteenth Doctor/Jack Harkness/Rose Tyler
Comments: 6
Kudos: 6





	Five Time Jack Kissed Someone and it Didn't Mean Anything and One Time It Did

1 - Shareen

When Jack met Shareen he immediately wanted to be her friend. Not only was she kind and nice, but she flirted like no one could stop her. They got along like peas in a pod, flirting with anyone who came by them, those into boys went to Jack, those into girls went to Shareen.

They were in a club, music silencing anyone who dared to talk. Shareen was too drunk to do anything safely, and Jack took her against his side, supporting her out of the club.

They were in the street, Jack leading her to the car where Rose waited, when Shareen stopped them and grabbed his face. “I am not remotely attracted to you, but I need to know what the fuss is about.” she clarified, and she kissed him.

Jack didn’t kiss back. She was obviously drunk, maybe stoned too. It wouldn’t be right to take advantage of her, especially when she wasn’t even doing it because she liked him. He gently pried her away.

“Get the fuss now?” He asked her jokingly, continuing to lead her to the car, and she shook her head.

“You didn’t even kiss back.” she complained.

“You’re drunk.” he said. “I’ll kiss you in the morning if you still want to.” She groaned and rested her head on his shoulder. He smiled softly and helped her into the car.

The next day, they were gone, and the TARDIS didn’t return until the Doctor had a different face.

2 - Martha

Jack wasn’t interested in Martha like that, and Martha wasn’t interested in him like that. It was clear. But he still wanted to make an ally, or even a friend in her.

It was later, when she wasn’t with the Doctor anymore and Jack had left Torchwood that they got together for dinner. “This place is nice.” Martha said as Jack led her out of the car into a large restaurant. “How much did it cost?”

“A blowjob.” Jack quipped. “Come on, we’ve got good reservations.” Martha smiled at him, and they walked into the restaurant, arms linked.

“What a sweet couple.” A woman cooed at them as they sat down to wait for their reservation. “I love your dress.” she smiled warmly at Martha.

“Thank you but-” Martha started, but Jack cut her off.

“Thank you. Isn’t she beautiful?” Martha turned to look at him glaring, and Jack slid out his phone. “Oh look darling, your cousin Doctor has texted us on the group chat.”

Martha took out her phone and looked at the text from Jack. ‘She’s an alien’ it read.

‘Could we not have one nice dinner’ she said, reaching into her purse for a gun. Her hand flailed in it for a second, coming out empty. She turned to Jack and kissed him, one hand on his shoulder, and one reaching under his suit jacket for one of his guns. She pulled it out, and pulled away.

“Why can’t you have a modern gun?” she hissed, hiding it between them as she loaded the bullets. “You’re from the future.”

“You kissed me!” he hissed.

“Get over it,” she said, “And get out your other gun.” Jack pulled out his gun and they both turned them on the woman.

“Get up.” Jack said. “Fight time.”

3 - Rory

Jack didn’t know who Rory was when he sat next to him in the alien club. “You look morose.” Jack said, offering him one of the drinks in his hand.

“That’s my girlfriend.” Rory said, nodding at Amy dancing close to the Doctor, who Jack didn’t know was the Doctor.

“Oh, you’re jealous.” Jack said, watching Rory drink the drink he had offered. “You probably have no reason to be. Some people are just like that.”

“Oh I know he’s like that. He has no interest in her. But I know she’s kissed him before, and I don’t really know if she wants to do it again.”

“Okay.” Jack nodded. “Kiss me.”

“ _ What _ .” Rory spluttered, spitting his drink back into the glass.

“Kiss me. Make her jealous. You get a free pass because she kissed him. Actually that’s super unhealthy, but you seem fine.”

“I don’t even know you!”

“Captain Jack Harkness, immortal and time traveller. You?”

“Rory Williams, mortal and time traveller.” Rory said, glancing at Jack’s lips, obviously considering it.

“Come on, if you need to say I kissed you without consent you can.” Jack didn’t even know why he was encouraging it. He was hardly attracted to Rory, no more than he was attracted to everyone.

Rory set his drink down and lunged forwards, capturing Jack’s lips in his. Jack kissed back hungrily. Rory was a decent kisser and he was definitely passionate. Jack positioned them so that it would be obvious to Amy, and maybe making Rory look more drunk than he was.

“Rory!” a sharp voice cut through them, and Jack and Rory pulled apart. “What are you doing?”

Rory, who might actually be drunker than Jack thought he was starting stammering through an explanation, but the man with Amy cut through him.

“Jack?”

“Do I know you?” Jack asked him. “I know I’ve never fucked you, I’d remember the bow tie.”

“You haven’t changed. And you weren’t supposed to fix that.” the Doctor nodded at the vortex manipulator, and Jack grinned.

“Hey, Doc.” he said, jumping up, before turning to Rory. “You could have name dropped, Rory, I can assure that you cannot be near this man for more than a week and retain any romantic feelings.”

“You met Rose.” the Doctor complained.

“You have a chin now.” Jack replied.

4 - River

“So.” Jack said. “You’re the Doctor’s wife.”

“Not exclusively.” River responded, obviously having already spotted Jack’s jealousy. “Why, you want in? He’s pretty asexual, but he might make an except for the both of us.”

Jack, who was used to these types of jokes, still flushed a soft pink.

“Okay so that’s a no. Want to make out?”

“ _ What _ ?”

“I’m bored, and this is a club where half the people are trying to eat other people’s faces. A few literally. So. Make out with me.”

“Why would you want to?”

“I’ve heard good things about you.” she conspicuously ran her eyes over his body. “ _ Good _ things. And I’m bored.” she leaned close so that her breath ghosted over his lips.

“Don’t you have an obligation to the Doctor or something?”

“It’s pretty open.” River responded. “Come on, it’ll be  _ fun _ .” she straddled his lap. “It’s not like it’ll mean anything. Aren’t you tired of just drinking in clubs. I bet you miss pulling pretty girls like me.”

“I could pull anyone in this club, actually.” Jack responded.

“Either prove it, or kiss me. Which one has more reward?” River leaned in and kissed him hard. Jack kissed back, and the next morning they woke up in bed together and swore never to talk about it again.

5 - Clara Oswald

Usually Jack stayed away from historical figures. He had met his share of them, and typically it’s a bad idea to meet too many when your face doesn’t change periodically. But sometimes you just become friends with a historical figure and they invite you to come to their house.

Jack didn’t know that Jane Austen meant she was  _ inviting _ him to her house. Not like that. Not until the girl there tossed her arms around his neck and kissed him.

“Sorry?” he said when she pulled away.

“Did she not tell you what she meant?” the girl said. “This isn’t exactly a tea party. It’s more…”

“Oh! Okay. I’m Jack Harkness, pleasure to be with you today.” the girl laughed.

“Clara Oswald. So, do you want to leave or are you cool with this.”

Jack pondered it, nodding. “I need to eat first, I’m hungry.” Clara snorted with a smile.

“I’ll show you to the kitchens. But hurry, I only get a few hours before my friend comes to get me.”

“Friend or  _ friend _ ?” Jack asked, opening the breadbox and tearing off a chunk from the bread.

“Friend. I think he might want to be  _ friends _ , but I don’t. Or at least I don’t enough to actually do it.”

“Ah. So, Jane Austen. You’re pretty obviously not from now, so that means you’re a time traveller, and you  _ know _ that Jane Austen is famous as fuck.”

Clara chuckled. “I mean, yeah. I’m an English teacher.”

“Nice. So, I’m done. Let’s go find Jane?”

Clara grinned, and they linked hands to go look for Jane Austen.

+1 - The Doctor and Rose

“Sorry, how’s she here?” Jack asked the Doctor, who was beaming.

“Long story.” Rose said. “Lots of interdimensional travel, some accidental time travelling. The important thing is that I’m  _ here _ with you two. Also the Doctor’s a woman.” she winked at Jack, who grinned and laughed.

“It’s so good to see you, Rose.” he said, hugging her.

“You too, Jack. I’m glad to be back. The Doctor Two was… not the best. Also he died. Turns out the separate universe from Donna plus however you saved her from the time vortex ended his life.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“He wasn’t her.” Rose said about the woman behind her. “ _ She’s _ the one I’m in love with.”

“Did you at least mourn?” the Doctor asked. “He was a part of me.”

“I mourned!” Rose defended herself. “Anyway, I’m back, and y’all can be happy again. Now could I please get a proper welcome? Please?”

“I hugged you!” Jack and the Doctor chorused. Hugged was a broad word for the Doctor, whose arms were still wrapped around Rose like she was scared of losing her.

“That’s not enough.” Rose said, and she surged forward, kissing Jack. When she pulled back she didn’t even breathe before kissing the Doctor.

Jack stood there shocked as the Doctor and Rose kissed. “Sorry, what?” he asked.

“I’m in love with both of you and seeing how I was stuck in another universe I think I can kiss you.” Rose clarified.

“You’re in love with me? I knew about the Doctor, but  _ me _ ?”

“Yes.” she confirmed, and Jack kissed her hard, before turning to the Doctor.

“Aren’t you going to kiss me too?” she teased, and Jack did.


End file.
